There was a period in my life when I tried to not fall into any stereotypes. I wanted to seem different and cool, I guess. I didn’t want to be “like other girls,” I didn’t want to get the response “that’s what everyone thinks,” or “that’s what everyone likes.” I wanted to love different movies, different music, and different fashion choices.
Much of it came from a guy I was trying to impress early in college. He’d say that most girls were the same and he wanted one that wasn’t like the rest. He didn’t want one who wore boots because all girls wore boots and we all dressed the same apparently. He didn’t want the stereotypical girl who liked Starbucks and shopping. He didn’t want one who was too girly, but she still had to act like a girl in order to grab his attention. It was ridiculous how I continuously tried to pretend I hated things that I liked just so he’d view me as worthy.
At the end of the day, I get it. He had a specific person set in his mind and he was looking for someone either exactly like her or not like her in the least bit. I didn’t fit into either category and after an embarrassing amount of time, I began to realize that. Once I did, I couldn’t understand why I was depriving myself of the little things I enjoyed all so I could “not be like other girls.” I had that type of mindset for so long that thinking back to those days makes me incredibly disappointed with my younger self. I doubt we’d get along all that well.
It also took me until recently to finally break away from the thought and embrace myself. Yes, I am a typical girl. Yes, I like Starbucks, it tastes good to me. I like shopping, I think it’s fun to look at clothes and try them on. I like boots, in fact I love them. I just received a pair today that I ordered online. Pink is my favorite color. My nails currently have glitter on them. As overrated as he is, Batman is still my favorite superhero and has been since I was a kid watching re-runs of the Adam West series. He’ll probably always be my favorite because I find him cool and it’s as simple as that. The truth is, I’m not that different from a lot of people. I fall into stereotypes, but I’m also a lot more than that.
I don’t see a point in depriving myself of the things I enjoy so I can come off as unique or cool in someone’s eyes. I like what I like and I always will. Maybe the reason some things are universally liked is because they’re something interesting that we can all share in. Doesn’t that sound better than competing over who has a more unique taste and attributing that uniqueness to superiority?
If you love a hobby or a film or a fashion choice or anything else then love it. Don’t throw away pieces of yourself just so you can stand out because those little things should not be what defines your worth. Let your personality and the choices you make be the character traits that shine.
Let your acts speak louder than the brand of coffee you buy.